Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Eating Correctly - A Dedication to my father.

The Muslims in a pinch eat Kosher. Halal will only get you so far. They are slightly less anal as concerns dietary concerns as the Jew's but still completely meshugga. My Muslim friends carry more fear and guilt about eating correctly than all the fucked up Jew's with milk, meat and Chinese food dishes in their homes.

Let me tell you about a problem I had a couple of years ago. I went to the House of HIllel grocery store to buy some Jell-O. Why you ask? I'll tell you, I had the munchies, I was stoned. So I get there and it's Shabbas and the HoH is closed. So I run across the street to Mohamed's quicky mart (here in the hood we call it Mo's) and buy some Halal Jell-O. As I'm paying, MO says to me, "Stoner Jewboy, you can't eat the Jell-O until tonight". So I asked him how he knew I was a Jew and how he knew I was stoned.

Well it turns out, he see's me go to the HoH all the time, and I just ran in to buy Halal Jell-O, and it's 2 in the afternoon and I'm not buying anything else, obviously I'm stoned -

But the bad news of the whole story was...While it was Shabbas, it was also Ramadan. I wasn't allowed to eat the Jell-o until sundown :)

-----Original Message-----From: solco co <compco@bell.net>To: Helen Baumgarten <helenu1@yahoo.com.au>; Judy Cohen <judycohen@sympatico.ca>; Norman <normcohen@mail.com>; Shelly <ishel@videotron.ca>Sent: Wed, Nov 18, 2009 11:00 amSubject: It's so nice to be Jewish
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About Glatech
Glatech Productions is the sole producer of Kolatin® Real Kosher gelatin and Elyon® kosher confectionery products.
Glatech Productions was founded to develop a high quality Real kosher gelatin, which can be used for the rapidly growing Kosher industry. As the need for Real Kosher gelatin increased, Glatech Productions began mass producing in the U.K. a high quality Kosher gelatin sourced exclusively from hides sourced in the USA and are now producing in Mexico on an ongoing basis. There have been many gelatin companies over the years, which claimed to produce Kosher gelatin. However, since those gelatins are obtained from non kosher hides or bones they have not been accepted by any major Kosher-certifying agency in the U.S.A., Canada or most of the world.
Glatech Productions registered the name Kolatin® Real Kosher Gelatin in order that this genuine Kosher product not be confused with those non Kosher sourced gelatins. Therefore, Kolatin® is the only bovine Real Kosher gelatin which is certified by the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations (the OU) using hides sourced from the U.S.A. as Kosher, Pareve, Kosher for Passover, and is accepted by kashrus organizations worldwide. It meets the highest standards of kashrus and quality.
Glatech Productions quality control specialists monitor all phases of gelatin production to assure customers that Kolatin® Real kosher gelatin conforms to the strictest standards of purity and kashrus. Kolatin® Real kosher gelatin surpasses domestic and worldwide regulatory requirements as well as customer specifications. Glatech Productions offers gelatin with characteristics that comply with each customer's unique product specifications. The exceptional physical properties of Kolatin® Real kosher gelatin make it a high performance ingredient in food products and pharmaceuticals. =