I won't go outside. I prefer my fresh air room temperature, maybe hot but not cold. Why the fuck do I live at a latitude so far north? Were my forefathers idiots? I can't wait for global warming to rectify the situation, I gotta move south.
I started the dating process again. I just wrote the funniest letter to a woman I am really looking forward to meeting. It's an award winner and justifies my impending behaviour. It's neat to have discovered the secret of being attractive to women. Humour, sometimes self-deprecating, a certain degree of humility and just enough self-confidence (ya gotta keep that shit in check!) alway's wins the day.
Here's the letter:
M,
So listen to this - I just thought of you. I was in church, singing a psalm, rejoicing in the love of sweet baby Jesus (despite being Jewish) and boom! You flooded my head. Despite suddenly being being confused about why I was wearing tefilin and a yarmulke in the confessional, I had two choices. Either tell the Father about what I invisioned happening Tuesday nite, or rush home and write you a funny flirty note. I woulda called you, but oh no, you wouldn't give me your f*.cking number. I trust you have a great day and a better tomorrow because the day after, you meet me. I look forward to it :)
----,---'--@
Norm
