I Got An Idea For A Reality TV Show

They got the Batchelor, they got fatso Batchelor, They even got blind speed Batchelor.

I need a producer for Old Lecker Batchelor. And a pile of 18-25 year old sluts with a serious I like daddy complex all vying for a typical loser, like me.

Apply within.

Newsflash: It's Raining...And Other Musings

I made a discovery. Genetic engineering is amazing. I just ate a watermelon that was round, the flesh was dark red, sweet and it didn't have any seeds. They should re-engineer broads. Replace their ability to talk w/ simply being submissive sluts.

I went to the race track today and pretended I was Valentino Rossi. I hit 10,500 RPM in 4th gear, that was fun. Wow, was I flying. The rush of being on a track in a crowd of bikes was exhilerating. I came in last. A guy went down in front of me. That musta hurt.

A woman just told me her cup was half full. I said don't worry, I like small titties.

I have just converted to Atheism

Today while stepping outside to talk to a colleague I had to go by a another colleague that took a time out for a little dovening. Yupper, the dude was outside sitting on a picnic table singing happily to the Hebrew text. Back inside, the Muslim dudes steadily passed by my desk on thier way to a demo room with the ceremonial carpet to say thier dutiful prayers.

On one hand, fucking sweet! Racial tolerance. No hatred or animosity. I work in an unusual invironment. All race, creed and sex get along with complete tolerance. But it finally dawned on me that all these mega-religious folk don't agree on who God is. And who am I to judge who the real God is. SO, moving forward, I am officially Atheist. No more agnostic view.

God sucks. He causes war and hatred. She has created turmoil since her invention. The irony is the people at my office aren't suffering. My colleagues are all good decent kind folk. It's too bad the rest of the world can't get it right. As for me, I'm not wasting another minute praying to the wrong dude. Factor in Jesus and I've got a 1 in 3 shot of getting it right. I not going to rot in hell for praying to the wrong deity.

Weather Report

Woman Required -

Oy, I just rejected and ejected my last girlfriend.

I require a woman to adore and worship me. Ideally she will be 30 years old without children and have no desire to have any. Occasionaly she should enjoy rough sex. Hopefully she is employed, and knows when to change from a lady into a whore and back again without instruction, honouring me all the while.

If a person hooks me up with this dame they get 13 virgins in heaven, or a daypass to the massage parlor. 4-hands all day w/ all you can release happy endings.

If it's you that found me my future love, I promise a wonderful fun-filled life. Oh and listen, I don't discriminate - If you're 45 and still have a tight ass or maybe have kids but are a bi filthy pig I'm open to listening to your value proposition. :)

Power T-Shirts

I just had a flashback

So I'm watching the Lexus commercial with the dude driving on the bridge that drives past the hot blond in red and stops to pick up the next gorgeous dark haired broad.

When I was 16, I was driving my off-road bike, well, off road. But I was only in a small area girded by encroachment of the developing area. Back in '67 when my parents moved to the suburbs, it was nearly the country. To get to the area I was riding in, I had to drive pseudo off road (the same area only 2 years before was literally an awesome forest, only to be destroyed to build the rest of the burgeoning community) to a real busy street or two and then boom! I was in the area that I loved zipping around in.

So this one day, I'm driving after supper around 7ish in this area and what do I see on the trail? I'll tell you. A girl around my age. So I stop and turn off the motor and this girl who I never met asks me if I can give her a lift to the Fairview Cinema. Of course I said yes and this pretty girl throws her leg over the seat and plants herself right up against me with her arms snugly around my waist and off we went....all maybe 1 minute of it but I gotta tell ya, it was divine.

Today of course I drive the sexiest fastest nastiest sounding street legal race bike that gets the brazen sexpots waving me down. Motorcycles, as they were in the time of the beginning are the funnest toy/panty remover ever made. I thank my father for getting into dirt-biking!

I've added for your viewing pleasure what I owned then, a 1970 Bultaco Matador and my current ride, a Yamaha YZF R1.

Sensational Week In The News

Another plane crashed into the sea, this one with a miracle survivor. Romeo Leblanc & Karl Malden - RIP.

Just when I figure I can stop watching cable news and get back to Nickleodeon, Sarah Palin, America's most sought after MILF quit. No more fresh pics of her in those tights skirts and sexy heels.

Imagine Micheal Jackson goes back in time to around 1955...doing a show, moonwalking, talking squeeky. The emerging risque avant-garde star of day was Elvis Presley. So MJ meets Elvis and says, one day, I'm going to marry your daughter. And Elvis says, over my dead body. And the rest as you all know is history. What we don't know is if Elvis is kicking MJ's ass in heaven, or rocking with him.